Mid-Year Reflections: What This Year Has Taught Me (So Far)
July always sneaks up on me.
One minute we’re setting goals for the new year, and the next—we’re halfway through it.
Instead of asking myself “Have I done enough?” this year, I’m asking “What have I learned?” Because growth isn’t always loud. Sometimes it happens in the quiet moments—between clients, diaper changes, or late night binging episodes of Lost. Yes, I know I’m a decade late! It’s still holding up folks, it’s pretty AWESOME.
Here’s what this year has taught me (so far):
1. Parenting is More About Regulating Myself Than Controlling my Kids
When things feel chaotic, my instinct is to fix it—to manage, placate, redirect, correct. But what I’m noticing is that my children don’t respond to my attempts at control the way I’d like. Instead, they respond to connection. And that connection begins with me.
If I can stay calm, breathe, and ground myself, the whole moment softens. That’s when they feel safe again. That’s when I do too. My child doesn’t need me to be perfect. They need me to be present. They need me to teach them, through modeling, (once they’re calm because teaching can’t happen when they’re flooded with emotions) how to regulate themselves.
In moment’s where I’m not at my best and I try to control my child’s behavior, it tends to get worse, and the more dysregulated everyone gets. Once my whole body and mind are flooded, there’s little to no chance of me handling the situation as well as I’d like. I try to nip my own reaction and behavior in the bud before I unintentionally escalate the situation. Having tantrums and meltdowns are natural. Biologically, us adults are not much different than these tiny tyrants.
Parenting is humbling and hard.
2. Postpartum Changes Every Time
There’s no single version of postpartum. I’ve lived through enough now to know that each experience carries its own emotions, rhythms, and unknowns. What supported me last time might not help this time—and that doesn’t mean I’m doing something wrong.
Each version of me who becomes a mother again needs new things. That truth has helped me hold myself with more grace, even on the days that feel like unraveling.
3. Grieving a Relationship That Never Was, Takes Time—Sometimes Years
One of the most unexpected griefs is realizing someone important to you may never show up in the way you hoped they would.
I’m trying to let go of this unrealistic expectation. Again— I’m trying to let go of this illusion of control. Who am I to decide who or why someone should be in the first place. Still, the loss of the expectation requires grief that can take year, and I’m learning that is okay.
4. Gratitude Doesn’t Fix Everything—But It Changes Everything
This isn’t about toxic positivity or ignoring pain.
It’s about noticing what’s still good—even in the middle of what’s hard. It’s about catching those tiny moments of joy, connection, beauty, or relief—and letting them land.
When things feel heavy, I look for what’s still good. Noticing the sun on my skin during a hard moment. Noticing my child’s laugh in the middle of a long day. Gratitude helps me stay connected to what’s true, not just what’s difficult.
It doesn’t erase anything, but it reminds me that joy and pain can live in the same day.
Gratitude softens the edges of hard seasons. It helps me stay rooted in what is working, even when a lot feels uncertain.
5. One more thing I’m learning — it’s okay to grow slowly
This isn’t a race. There’s no award for getting it all right, all at once. If you’re somewhere in the middle—tired, trying, learning as you go—you’re not behind.
You’re human. You’re healing. And that matters more than anything you check off a list.
Wherever you are this July, I hope you’ll take a moment to ask yourself— not just what you’ve done—but what you’ve learned, and what you’re going to do with that knowledge.
That’s where the healing begins.